I am not the world's most experienced, knowledgeable or indeed successful allotment holder. It does however occupy a good deal of my free-time, head-space and spare cash. I am not perfect, but I grow things. I suspect there are others in the same boat who might find this validating and/or entertaining.  

Like many people these days, I don't have much in the way of garden space and what there is tends to be occupied by other people. Difficult to grow much when you're competing for space with a patio set and a barbecue.

So, back in 2022 and feeling the need for space, I thought, you know what, there are some allotments not far from here I'll ask if they have any spare plots. I was expecting a waiting list. What I got was half lawn half bomb-site.  As Captain Hindsight would attest, I probably achieved a state of epic fail in assessing how much time it would take to get the plot back to anything resembling useful. 

So, here we are in 2024 at the start of he growing season (ish) and I have spent a truly ungodly amount of time stripping out grass, humping endless bags of manure onto the site which has no vehicle access, and removing an absolute imperial long-fuckload of bind weed. And yes, I still have sodding bind weed. It is a war of attrition that should you choose to read my posts, you will hear about repeatedly. Perhaps you can sympathise. You will also hear about the Saga of the Polytunnel and the Mound of Despair. 

I will try to make myself useful by bringing unto you both some reviews of seeds that I have planted (with varying degrees of success) and some recipes that could (should you so wish) help avoid wasting any hard-earned fruits of your labour. Though I should warn you that they might come across as a bit unusual. Coleslaw fried rice is a thing in my house. I'm sure generations of cordon bleu will be rotating in their graves, but never mind. Maybe we can use them as turbines. 

    

​​